Let’s start with love, because lets be honest that’s how it all begins, that’s how it all ends. Love. Sometimes people are distracted by love and it seems like that is our goal in life, to find it. And to some it is, yet to others that is a bonus. Love has many different meanings, and to be honest I still don’t know the definition, but I can tell you what it is not. Love is not sacrifice. It does not involve having to sacrifice things for one another in order to win each others happiness. It can be about compromise but never sacrifice. Love is not judgmental, angry or hurtful and it is not about competition. Love is about equality and ensuring both parties are putting in the same amount of efforts and attempts. Love is sharing your life with another person that returns everything that you are willing to give. Love is laughing endlessly, even though it’s silly. Love is playing, joking and about being able to take each other serious when needed. It’s about bringing out each others strengths and improving the weaknesses. Love is not wanting to change someone but being able to live with their flaws knowing that’s what makes them perfect. Love is a whole bunch of amazing butterflies all in one person, and being able to recognize and understand how to make them fly.

I would also talk about heartbreak and sympathizing with someone who is struggling from a broken heart. Heart breaks are the most painful thing you will ever go through, they are worse then physical injuries because they do not have a cure, there’s only so much chocolate and ice cream can do.  When people make a decision to end a relationship there will always be doubt. But that pit in the bottom of your stomach, that lump in the back of your through and that blurred vision from the tears in your eyes are not what you think. Those are signs and symptoms of breaking free from a habit, which we all know are hard to break. You need to allow yourself time to adjust to the new beginning you have chosen for yourself because after all, you wanted this. Those symptoms are not signs to go back, they are not “oh I’m this miserable without him, I must have made a bad decision”. Those terrible feelings are your hearts way of letting you know you are scarred of what’s to come. Being broken is different. Having your heartbroken by no decision of your own is an entire different story. And to that, I say cry. Cry until you can not cry anymore, and after your done, pick yourself up off the ground and remind yourself no one deserves to cry that hard. Look at yourself in the mirror and convince yourself you are better then that- because you are. Come to terms with the fact that if he/she left you, its because you can do better. Regardless of how it happens we all get our heart broken and with every heartbreak you lose a piece of yourself, but you also learn something new and make more discoveries within yourself.  Heartbreaks are the ending of a chapter before you read on. Heartbreaks remind yourself that you have a heart and you feel, it teaches you more then you will ever know. And when you find someone who is willing to cherish your heart, it makes all of those heart breaks, all of those lonely nights and all of those wet Kleenexes completely worth it.

Enough of the sappy stuff I would say, I would then start to rant on about accomplishments and how great they feel. You will have shitty parts of your life and there will be moments when you lose control. My advice on those moments would be to look behind you in comparison to where you are currently standing. Look how far you have come and look at every obstacle you have conquered on your way here.  It may look like a long, dark, bumpy road ahead but that’s what it all looks like at the beginning. And at the end of every accomplishment reward yourself. Remind yourself of your achievements and never sell yourself short. After all we are all battling some kind of war, and we all win in our own ways.

HEY WORLD!! Relax a little. Wherever you are going, wherever you are from, you will get there you just have to be patient. So slow down! Stop and look around. If you concentrate on the road ahead you miss all of the pretty things beside you. If we all just took a breath for one second, long enough to smile life would be so much easier! There are 2 rules in life, 1) don’t sweat the small shit. 2) Everything is small shit. It’s a big world and we are only one person, so calm down and laugh. Dance off some of that stress and laugh off some of that anger. Because we all come in and go out the same way, it’s the stuff in between that makes us unique! So make the best of it. Don’t question it- just do it. Because Kristyn Says!

 The book is about a young man who has very little but is happy and content. He is a Shepherd and spends all of his time with his sheep. He is bothered by a dream he has and decides to have the dream interpreted. He is then told that there is a treasure that awaits him in the pyramids of Egypt and with a little help he decides to go there to find his treasure. Throughout the book he meets different people and gets side tracked from his dream for a short period of time. He experienced fortune as well as misfortune but never stopped learning every step of the way. He has opportunities to speak with very wise men and allows them to influence his life. In the end he decides to follow his Person Legend and he discovers his treasure.

 The book taught me varies things and I learned a lot. This is the type of book that each individual who reads it may interpret it a little different then another. Here are my personal thoughts and interpretations of what the book was saying, and included is also my opinion of what the book is insinuating.

 Another main thing I have learned is how powerful fear is. The book says “Fear of suffering is worse than fear itself” and that is true. We don’t fear fear, we fear anything negative. Some people in this world get comfortable in their life and become content with what they have. But you are never supposed to just be CONTENT! You are supposed to be happy and constantly setting and meeting goals and constantly changing. You are supposed to continue to grow every single day and move up in life to be the most successful, happiest person you can possibly be. Fear is what will prevent someone from being completely happy. We are all afraid of failing but the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people are those who do not let fear prevent them from trying. There is a quote I’ve heard many times throughout my life: Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. A quote from the book says “We are afraid of losing what we have whether it’s our life or our possessions and property, but this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.” We as people are so afraid of failing that we don’t want to give up what we consider to already be success. We fear change. People are sad to move to a different home, we are afraid to quit our job for another one, we are afraid to go back to school. We worry about all of the negative. What if it fails? What if the people at my new job don’t like me? What if this what if that… well what if it turns out to bring you more money and more happiness then you could imagine? What if it is a good decision and steers your life into a great direction. People who are afraid of change are bound to stay frozen. Yes, it is true, you will not fail if you stay in the same place. You will stay comfortable and you will remain the same as you are now, yes you will not move backwards- but you will also not move forward. Fearing change is willingly allowing yourself to stay frozen. If you don’t want to make changes to better your life then you are trapping yourself and keeping yourself frozen in your own life; trapped within your own insecurities that all originate from fear and worrying about the “what ifs”. Another quote from the book says “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams because they feel they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them”. You are in the driver seat of your own life and you deserve every single thing you can obtain and everything you CAN achieve.

 The Alchemist taught me how important it is to continue to move forward. No matter how good anything in your life seems to be, you should always push yourself to achieve more. The universe is on your side in achieving what you want from this life and sometimes stuff looks hard or seems challenging, other times you try and try and try to remain positive and it seems everything is against you. The Alchemist says “The darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn” and, to me, that means it always gets worse before it gets better, it has to rain in order to see the rainbow. If there was no negative things in this life we would have no ability to appreciate the good. I think the main message in the book was to always follow your dreams, not only pursue your Personal Legend but allow yourself to discover it, and become the person you were meant to be. Never fear change, always aspire to achieve more. They say the grass always looks greener on the other side, and their right, it does and sometimes you go to the other side just to discover there are just as many weeds on that lawn then there was on yours but life is a learning experience. I think that life is about obtaining and absorbing every ounce of knowledge that you can, then once you have it you are to use it and then share it to those who have yet to learn it. Struggles are a part of life and they will always happen regardless of any situation, but its the joys and accomplishments that are experienced at the end of those struggles that push anyone to move forward. Everyone has heard of the saying Just Live your Life. I disagree. Don’t just live your life, don’t just coast through every day just “getting by” but instead- live every moment and milk every opportunity that you can! Experience every situation and never, EVER stop learning. Every person that you meet has a story to tell, why don’t you take a minute to listen to theirs, and then share yours?!  And if not that then at the very least- read The Alchemist and tell me what you thought of it. Why should you? Because Kristyn Says !

I thought I had everything figured out, I thought I was set. I thought I had a life partner, I had a very promising job and I made what I thought was okay money. I had fun with all of my friends, and I had amazing family. I spent too much money on way too many drinking nights; I planned way too many shopping trips and had way too much fun. But I was happy, I was living and I was free. I thought I was set, but what I didn’t see was that the relationship was doomed from the start, I didn’t have money in my savings account and at the end of the day I didn’t have a career, I had a job. Since then those “best friends” have had babies, moved out west and settled down. What I didn’t know was that my life, the life I was destined to live, was about to hit me in the face, it was just about to begin.  When I look back at how my life was, just a short year ago, I am living a completely different one now, I don’t even know who that person was. I’ve changed so much and opened the doors to a more promising, loving, and secure life.

I broke up with a man that was once everything to me. I learned that a broken heart still continues to beat no matter how damaged you deem yourself to be. I learned that after trying every possible solution, and waiting for something that will never change, I learned that giving everything you have until you are empty inside, I learned that being miserable with the justification of “everything will be okay one day”- is not how you’re supposed to do things. I’ve learned that you will never be happy if you settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you. And most importantly I’ve learned that all wounds mend in time, as long as you allow yourself the time to heal. I wouldn’t change anything for anything. In regards to my job, I loved it. I absolutely and unconditionally loved it. I loved being so useful and working in all departments of the restaurant. I loved how I knew that restaurant like the back of my hand, I loved the expectations and I loved the money and I loved the fun. But I was never meant to cook and deliver peoples food. Life had way more in store for me. I learned that although I loved that job with my entire heart and soul- sometimes you need to challenge yourself to see what you are capable of. Sure I miss it every day but I am doing something way better with my life now, I am serving people in a different way and improving people’s quality of life. I learned that no body in this world should have a job- they should have a career. And like my Grandpa has ALWAYS said: If you love your job; you’ll never have to work a day in your life.  Overall the hardest lesson I was forced to learn, was that sometimes taking a step backwards is not as terrible as it seems. I needed to figure myself out, and get back on my feet. Moving back in with the parents after being on your own is the worst feeling in the world. I was overwhelmed with feelings of failure, doubt, incompetence and it was a hard heavy shot at my self confidence and self worth. However, it was exactly what I needed. Instead of looking at the negative aspects about back tracking, I should have been thinking that I was given a second chance and an opportunity to start over again; and do it right. Most importantly I’ve learned that life is so unpredictable, you miss something every time you blink. Life can change in an instant and you are not supposed to try and prevent change, you’re supposed to embrace it. Cry to those love songs, laugh to those stupid jokes, and sing to that Adele song despite how terrible you sound. Fall in love with opportunity and never be afraid to let someone new into your life. Never talk about people behind their back, ignore jealousy and enjoy the ride of your life, because you only get one!

As I’ve said, my life is completely different from how it was a year ago. I quit my amazing job, left my boyfriend, moved home and went to school. I got over what I thought was going to be one of the hardest things to get over. But I found a man who is more amazing than I could have ever imagined. He was an amazing friend for years and now he is an amazing boyfriend. I wasn’t afraid to let him in, and though we’re moving fast, I’m letting my heart make the decisions. Some people would deem that as a mistake, others would say it’s romantic. Frankly, I don’t care either way. I’m happy and right now in this life, that’s all that matters. I’m watching those flowers on the hill side, and their blooming like crazy, I’m listening to the river flow down the stream and I’m watching children grow. To this current date I am a week away from completing school. I will be a PSW on my long road to starting a career in health care. This is what I’m meant to do. I’ve learned that PSW’s don’t just wipe butts, or feed the ones who can’t feed themselves. PSW’s don’t just change diapers and bath you. PSW’s work every day to improve YOUR grandparents’ quality of life. We, as PSWS, care more about peoples’ well being than anyone else in this field. We work with people every single day and focus on promoting their independence, well being and aim to ensure that during this last stage of life, they are as comfortable as possible, and as happy as they are able to be. I’ve learned more about respect then I have in my entire life. I’ve developed patience, love for a stranger, and appreciation for what I have in my life. I’ve learned that every single person has their own individual story and sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s touching. I’ve witnessed dedication on a whole new level, seeing loved ones come in to visit their mom, dad, wife, or husband every single day and I’ve seen how families get torn apart by life’s flaws. I’ve seen who I was, I’ve witnessed who I am and I know who I want to be. And I am in the driver seat of my own life. I will turn when I feel I need to, I will go back when I’m lonely and I will continue to drive forward regardless of how scary that road may look. But most of all I never drive with a map, because I know roughly where I want to be, and I know I will get there eventually but I am comfortable with knowing that some stops are necessary, and life is a journey; not a destination. That’s how I live my life, that’s how I’ve learned to live my life, and you should too! No regrets; just hope and a little bit of faith. Kristyn says

Love isn’t about finding the one you can live with. It’s about finding the one you can’t live without. It’s about two hearts binding together to become one. Love is best described when using the cheesiest, overheard, and overused clichés. Perhaps I am not creative enough to develop my own explanations, or maybe I am able to relate to the author of those clichés and am able to appreciate their words and can feel their meaning. We all experience it, we all have felt it or eventually will.

We’ve also experienced loss, remorse, and broken hearts- or eventually will. Finding love after having your heart ripped from your chest and torn at the seams is the most refreshing feeling. I was at a time in my life where I was depressed, angry, full of regret, shame and loneliness. I put everything I had into something that never would have worked. I was taken advantage of and under appreciated for an amount of time that still stings my soul. I was convinced that I was destined to never find love again or at least to the extent of what I thought love was. I was drowning in the past and was refusing to let it go. When I finally did I was content to find my own road to walk down, and was excited for where that road would lead. I wasn’t looking for love, I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I wasn’t looking to open what was left of my heart. I went to dinner with a friend and left with curiosity and realization. I found love. I forgot what it was like to fear my heart was beating out of my chest.

It feels so right with him. They say when you know you know, and that phrase has never held any significance to me until now. I’ve always had doubts, worries and fears. But with him it just feels right. I see us going places that shouldn’t be crossing my mind at this point. My heart wasn’t broken; it just grew tired of beating for someone who wouldn’t listen. I wasn’t going to be alone; I was just waiting for someone who would never leave me alone. When you care about things you get hurt and no one wants to hurt, but it’s only when you care about things that you grow to love. The worst and most common mistake an individual can make is to close your heart off to opportunity. I am overjoyed that I didn’t make that mistake.  He makes me feel like I am on top of the world; he makes me feel important, loved, untouchable, whole, appreciated and respected. Which are all things I’ve never experienced before. Being with him makes me feel like I have no cares in the world, despite what kind of day I had, or what kind of day is about to come, despite the bad things in my life he makes me feel good about it all, because at the end of the day I have a partner who will help me stay on my feet, and let me help him stay on his. Our relationship is so equal and we excel off each others attitudes. I’ve spent my life with my heart on my sleeve, I’ve always went out of my way to give someone the shirt off my back. I’ve always put everyone else ahead of me and not expressed my needs in a healthy way. Never in my entire existence did I ever think I would find someone to give all of that back to me. Being with someone who wants to put me first, listen to what I want, and love me before anyone else. He makes time for me, he considers my feelings, he opens his heart and his mind to me.  Suddenly every single heart break, every single let down and every single bad thing that’s ever happened to me seems worth it. Because without all of those factors they never would have gotten me to where I am right now, and I never want to live without these feelings I have towards my amazing boyfriend.

Babe you’ve opened my heart to a whole new world and I want to thank you for that. You’ve made everything worth it and I’m sorry it took me this long to see you the way I see you now. I was blinded by stupidity and distracted by hurt. You make my heart glow; you make my stomach turn inside out. You make me feel like I can do anything and accomplish anything. Being with you is the greatest feeling in the entire world and without your existence I never would have found this happiness. No amount of clichés, love stories, heartfelt songs or romance novels could ever do justice to how you make me feel. There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to express how much I love you. My heart is binded to yours and your fingers are where mine fit perfectly. Your chest is my pillow and your arms are my home. I have never felt these feelings before. I’ve never felt any feelings rush through my veins the way my feelings do for you.

So don’t be afraid to love after you’ve been hurt. Everyone gets hurt- you have to get hurt in order to appreciate a good one when you find it. You have to have your heart trampled on because it feels so much better when you take that risk of giving it to someone and trusting that they won’t drop yours the way your last one did. Without hurt there would be no happiness. So love to the fullest, and live to the best of your ability and listen to the depths of your soul! It’s the only way to live- because Kristyn Says.

The media makes being skinnier a lot harder then it looks. They think that those models, and celebrities act as incentive when really its actually depressing, and what do we do when we’re depressed? WE EAT ! We try and shop at “popular” stores and buy clothing with all the popular names, but do you know how difficult the media actually makes it?  Can you try and picture your self as a little bigger of a person and trying on jeans and trying to squeeze yourself into double zero sizes. You get double zero, zero, 1, 2, 3, 5 and 7. What the hell is that? What about the people who have a little bit more meat on their bones? Or what about the people who just have bigger bones? You can have a bigger frame without being fat! It’s called big bones! You can’t lose that, you can’t shrink bones !  So these young people, who are bigger then double zero, they just want to fit in! They just want to wear nice clothes like everybody else and when they can’t fit into these sizes, or it looks bad- they get depressed. And what do we do when we’re depressed? WE EAT! Its this terrible, repetitive circle that will not stop. We want to be skinny, we try to diet, we try to exercise and the media uses small sizes for what? Incentive to do so? But when it doesn’t work and when we aren’t as pretty or skinny as the people on TV we get down on ourselves, we feel bad about ourselves, we get depressed, and cure these negative feelings with food !

Now I know that for some people it is quite simple. Quit smoking, stop eating fast foods, cook healthier meals, live better and feel better. But the logic of this cycle is just absurd.  I just want everyone to know that noses come in all different shapes and sizes and so do people! Your waist size does not define you, the clothes you wear doesn’t make you a better person. YOU DO! Don’t buy into what media tells you, don’t be the person that other people think you should be. You are beautiful inside as out. As long as you aren’t a bitch, as long as you are honest, truthful, nice, giving and respectful- you are beautiful. Be who you want to be. No matter how bad you are feeling about yourself, no matter how terrible you think you look you are a winner. Every person on this earth is a winner. You were success from the day you were conceived. Because one day, when your parents were trying to create you- in that very moment you won that race! You were the winner! You made it and that is a blessing that should be emphasized, that should be embraced.

Live the life that you won. Be the person you were meant to be and don’t let ANYONE else tell you how you should be, what you should wear, where you should go or how to act.  You are the driver of your own soul, so run. Run with opportunities, seize the moment, live your life but most of all- be yourself!  Why? Because Kristyn Says !

These words have no real facts, no real statistics with no set ears to listen. These words are my person opinion and as far as I know, I’m pretty sure here in Canada I have the right to free speech! Or did that get thrown out the window as well?

Its ridiculousness, why? Because Kristyn, a proud Canadian, SAYS !

Let the good times roll:

 Written in October:

          You’ve caught me. You’ve already roped in, so tie me tight so there is no escape this time.  Last time you held me lose and I was able to run with every ounce of energy I had. And I ran to avoid and hide from any potential feelings that will continue to grow with you. But just bind our connections with knots- make it flawless and make it permanent. I officially give in- you have me. You’ve grown accustom to chasing me, but baby I’m tired of running. There is no hiding from you. I run because I don’t want to get hurt, I run because I don’t want to admit that I love you. I thought being without you would help but I’ve never been more wrong. Your absence is cold and my presence is soothing so make it stick. You can’t deny what the heart refuses to let go. And you can’t dismiss the feelings that you always feel. And I have always felt things for you. We’ve turned out friendship up a level then turned it off, we’ve tried to undo a friendship but I’d rather have you in my life as something then not in my life at all. So weather you are in my life as a friend or in my life as unlabeled lover I don’t care, because I’ve grown the need for you. We can not continue to ignore what just won’t go away despite or consistent best efforts. This may be the stupidest jump I’ve ever taken. We may have nothing in common but you won’t leave my head. I’ve learned in my short life that love is stupid and it makes you do stupid things. I’ve learned that falling for someone and letting someone in just leads to regret, pain, despair and loneliness. Who in their right mind would be willing to jump into that? Well baby as I’ve said you got me. Stupidity has grown to be a way of life for us, so make me dumb. Let un indulge in stupid actions and drown in naive words that will soon leave us scarred and broken- but until then, bring me back to life the way you always do.

My name is Kristyn Hardacre and this site is all about me. I’ve found that when people attempt to tell people about themselves it tends to be a little pretentious and fake ! So I will let you take a look around my site and into my life, and you can make your own conclusions about me!

However here are some basics,

I love music, pretty much all kinds of music. I like to party but I work very hard as well. I am at my happiest when I am with my friends or family just enjoying the day, no matter what were doing. I love lyrics and quotes and sayings, I also love to write. The purpose of this site is to use it as my diary and write my thoughts and feelings and channel all of my feelings in a productive way. People say that I am unrealistic in terms of me thinking my life should be a fairy tale, or like a movie, but as far as I’m concered I’m a young girl and thats how it should be! I am silly and love to laugh until it aches. I get along with mostly everyone and I am a complete and total people person. I aim to please everyone around me all of the time and just want to be sure everyone reaches their full potentional ! But enough about me… take a look around! Why? Because Kristyn says