Kristyn Says…

Life is about moments. And it’s only when you enjoy every moment of your life when you love the life you live. Life isn’t measured by the breaths you take; it’s measured by the moments that take your breath away. The moments spent with him are the moments that I feel internal joy. He takes my breath away with every word that leaves his lips. He takes my breath away every time his hand finds mine in the mess of the blankets, and in every crowd of people.

Love isn’t about finding the one you can live with. It’s about finding the one you can’t live without. It’s about two hearts binding together to become one. Love is best described when using the cheesiest, overheard, and overused clichés. Perhaps I am not creative enough to develop my own explanations, or maybe I am able to relate to the author of those clichés and am able to appreciate their words and can feel their meaning. We all experience it, we all have felt it or eventually will.

We’ve also experienced loss, remorse, and broken hearts- or eventually will. Finding love after having your heart ripped from your chest and torn at the seams is the most refreshing feeling. I was at a time in my life where I was depressed, angry, full of regret, shame and loneliness. I put everything I had into something that never would have worked. I was taken advantage of and under appreciated for an amount of time that still stings my soul. I was convinced that I was destined to never find love again or at least to the extent of what I thought love was. I was drowning in the past and was refusing to let it go. When I finally did I was content to find my own road to walk down, and was excited for where that road would lead. I wasn’t looking for love, I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I wasn’t looking to open what was left of my heart. I went to dinner with a friend and left with curiosity and realization. I found love. I forgot what it was like to fear my heart was beating out of my chest.

It feels so right with him. They say when you know you know, and that phrase has never held any significance to me until now. I’ve always had doubts, worries and fears. But with him it just feels right. I see us going places that shouldn’t be crossing my mind at this point. My heart wasn’t broken; it just grew tired of beating for someone who wouldn’t listen. I wasn’t going to be alone; I was just waiting for someone who would never leave me alone. When you care about things you get hurt and no one wants to hurt, but it’s only when you care about things that you grow to love. The worst and most common mistake an individual can make is to close your heart off to opportunity. I am overjoyed that I didn’t make that mistake.  He makes me feel like I am on top of the world; he makes me feel important, loved, untouchable, whole, appreciated and respected. Which are all things I’ve never experienced before. Being with him makes me feel like I have no cares in the world, despite what kind of day I had, or what kind of day is about to come, despite the bad things in my life he makes me feel good about it all, because at the end of the day I have a partner who will help me stay on my feet, and let me help him stay on his. Our relationship is so equal and we excel off each others attitudes. I’ve spent my life with my heart on my sleeve, I’ve always went out of my way to give someone the shirt off my back. I’ve always put everyone else ahead of me and not expressed my needs in a healthy way. Never in my entire existence did I ever think I would find someone to give all of that back to me. Being with someone who wants to put me first, listen to what I want, and love me before anyone else. He makes time for me, he considers my feelings, he opens his heart and his mind to me.  Suddenly every single heart break, every single let down and every single bad thing that’s ever happened to me seems worth it. Because without all of those factors they never would have gotten me to where I am right now, and I never want to live without these feelings I have towards my amazing boyfriend.

Babe you’ve opened my heart to a whole new world and I want to thank you for that. You’ve made everything worth it and I’m sorry it took me this long to see you the way I see you now. I was blinded by stupidity and distracted by hurt. You make my heart glow; you make my stomach turn inside out. You make me feel like I can do anything and accomplish anything. Being with you is the greatest feeling in the entire world and without your existence I never would have found this happiness. No amount of clichés, love stories, heartfelt songs or romance novels could ever do justice to how you make me feel. There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to express how much I love you. My heart is binded to yours and your fingers are where mine fit perfectly. Your chest is my pillow and your arms are my home. I have never felt these feelings before. I’ve never felt any feelings rush through my veins the way my feelings do for you.

So don’t be afraid to love after you’ve been hurt. Everyone gets hurt- you have to get hurt in order to appreciate a good one when you find it. You have to have your heart trampled on because it feels so much better when you take that risk of giving it to someone and trusting that they won’t drop yours the way your last one did. Without hurt there would be no happiness. So love to the fullest, and live to the best of your ability and listen to the depths of your soul! It’s the only way to live- because Kristyn Says.

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